I swear to God, this looks more like an autopsy photo, then a club photo.  Matt, if you're reading this... I know you've moved on from that particular obsession, but you still may find the picture troubling.  Click on that link at your own risk.

In between meetings today I decided to step out and walk around downtown a bit.  I needed a breath of fresh air, and some time to think.  After reading Phelony's post about faking it, I was struck by the number of people walking around, especially women, staring at their feet.  In fact, two of them nearly walked right into me as they were unable to hold a straight line walking down the sidewalk looking only 6 inches ahead of them.

I often times wonder what possesses these women to do this.  Nothing shouts "lack of self-confidence" like seeing someone walking around with their head down, hoping that nobody notices them, hoping that they'll have little impact on the world around them.  More than that, they miss the world going by all around them.  You miss that friendly smile that someone might give you around the holidays, which is usually enough to pick up my mood for at least a couple blocks.  You miss a lot of things, just by not looking.

Hold up your head dammit.  Look around.  Let people look at you.  You have more to be proud of than you think.  And if you don't, then fake it.  Sometimes pretending you're confident is enough to make it happen.

That's the question that Vikki Ortiz is asking today.  She has 15 criteria that's she's laid out that apparently are supposed to be specific to Wisconsin, the land of brat's and beer.  I'm not sure I see anything that's Milwaukee specific there, but maybe that's because I'm probably not a Miltrosexual.  Then again, I've recently blogged about possibly being an Urban Hipster (not to mention having a blog category called Style Guy), so maybe I need to go through that list one more time.

Let's see... I count two out of fifteen items on her list that apply to me.  I'll let you try to guess which two.  Either way, I don't think I qualify.

C|Net has compiled a list of the top 10 Geek Girls.  Among those on the list are Ada Byron (the world's first programmer) and Grace Hopper (who found the first computer 'bug').  Also on the list is Paris Hilton, apparently because her fetish for pink electronic goodies, and slutty ways, make it irresistible.  Talk about an insult to women everywhere.  You couldn't find an actual female geek to put on that list to round out your top 10?

She's not an actress (despite being on TV), not a singer (despite putting out a record), and definitely not a geek.  She's a tramp... and #1 on that list.  Oh yeah, Lisa Simpson made the list too.

Today I've been walking around the office touching the metal edges of cubical walls, or the metal parts of people's desks when I walk by.  Some people might think that I've gone nuts (always a possibility), or that I have some strange case of OCD like Monk.  I don't... honestly.

Today is just a really bad day for static build up on my body.  If I don't touch some piece of metal every few minutes while walking, and discharge myself a little bit at a time, it will build up very quickly and ... OUCH.  You do not want to shake my hand today.

I don't mind the cold or snow in winter nearly as much as the dry air.

An urban hipster you say?  What is that?  It's a bit hard to define exactly what is and isn't "urban hipster", so instead of creating a concrete definition, I'll define it by example.  I first became familiar with the phrase when I was in California last year, and Sarah took me to Lucky's in Montecito.  She seems to be quite in touch with the urban hipster concept, and seems to mention it a lot.  Lucky's is a pretty posh place... what you might call "modern zen".  It's also frequented by a lot of celebrities when they come up to Santa Barbara... so it's a hit among celebrity watchers.  The food there is great, even if the service can be lackluster according to some reviews.  There was one incident which I may never live down with one of the wait staff... but unless you talk to Mich, you'll never hear about it from me.  Hopefully I made up for it with the tip.

I sort of forgot about the whole urban hipster thing for a while, until Sarah came into town earlier this year, and I took her out for drinks to one of my favorite places downtown... Elsa's.  I've been going there for years, and they have great desserts, and mix some excellent drinks.  The first words out of her mouth were how it was very "urban hipster".  Was I one of these so called urban hipsters?  I'm a geek by trade, and a little bit of jock (or so I've been told)... I'm not sure I can handle yet one more label.  So as my sister smoked away guilt free, we enjoyed our desserts while being watched over by sparkling large cats in glass boxes hanging from the ceiling.

Then this past weekend I took the train down to Chicago to see Sarah, who was working a trade show.  I met her at her hotel... one I've never heard of... The W Lakeshore.  There are actually two W hotels in Chicago, and let me just point out the irony in the fact that such a liberal city would have two hotels named W, when that letter has a very Republican feel these days.  What were the first words out of her mouth after saying "It's so great to see you!"?  Of course it was "How do you like my urban hipster hotel?"

And she's right.  Whether it's the very dark and smokey Whiskey Sky bar on the top floor (which actually knows how to properly make a French Martini for my dear sister), or the Wave restaurant on the bottom floor which features "small plate", the W is the very essence of urban hipster rolled up into one building.  Even going to the bathroom in the lobby felt surreal, as I was surrounded by mirrors in a dimly lit room awash in blue light.  Yeah... that was weird.  Even the halls were decorated with river rock along the edges, so that every second had a relaxing zen feel to it.

I still don't consider myself to be an urban hipster, but I will admit that I enjoy venturing into that world from time to time.  And for those who find it attractive, you can read more about it The Field Guide To The Urban Hipster, or even take the quiz to find out what category you belong in.

Someone explain toe socks to me.  The wonderful part about socks is that they act like mittens, and each of your toes help keep the other toes warm.  But toe socks defeat this by wrapping each toe in fabric.  And its not like you are showing off your cute little toes to the world, because you put them in shoes!  So what is it?

This post is for you Sliver.

A few comments to women who wear blue jeans.

1. Blue jeans that are blue denim everywhere, but are stark white right on your butt, are not a good look.  Either it shows that you don't know how to properly use bleach, or that you sit on your butt so long and so hard that it wears away on the obviously cheap clothes you buy.  Neither of those prospects are attractive.
2. Don't glare at us when you catch us looking at your ass if you have the white spot there.  Most men are very observant, and the human brain is programmed to notice things that are noticeably different from its surroundings.  We can't simply turn off biology like that.
3. Ditto goes for glaring at us if you have designs on your back jeans pockets, or especially if you have something written there.  I enjoy reading.
4. Speaking of designs... pink flowers on your back pockets where the threading wears quickly into an ugly mess isn't as cute as you think.

No, I didn't actually buy a new car, but my cube smells like one.  In fact, at least one other person has commented on how my cube smells.  Why you might ask?

I bought new shoes.

Shoe buying for me is actually rather difficult, since its hard to find shoes that I like, that actually fit.  Shoe makers seem to care less about people with big feet for some reason, even though it hurts more when we kick their ass.

Frankly, I'd feel far more harassed by having the city choose my underwear:

A Canadian city under pressure for alleged sexual harassment within its fire department has ordered firefighters to wear only boxer-style underwear.

Richmond, British Columbia will spend C$16,000 ($14,200) to buy six pairs of underwear for each firefighter in a bid to make firehalls in the suburb of Vancouver more gender neutral, a newspaper reported on Tuesday.
...
A recent investigation of the department described its workplace culture as "characterized by juvenile and hostile behavior" toward female firefighters by their male colleagues.

And boxers will solve this problem?  Briefs are harassing?  Personally I'm a boxers guy, but some guys like the extra support.  Are they just out of luck?  And what about boxer briefs?  Do those count as boxer style?  Or are they too brief-like and show off the guy's package too much?  Or is the problem here that guys are going commando under their uniforms?  Cause frankly, I'd think they'd want as much protection for their "hose" in a fire as possible.

And will there be a regulation on bras for women?  No push-up bras because they show off cleavage too much perhaps?  Not to mention the fact that under wires might heat up in a fire and burn the skin.  And if women have to wear boxers too, do men have to wear a bro?

Via Samantha Burns... who's always on top of the latest underwear news.

Trying to find your perfect soulmate?  Try Biography.com's Dead Celebrity Soulmate Game.  If only I'd been born fifty years earlier, I could have had a shot with Grace Kelly...

What?  It could've happened.  Via Samantha Burns.

Last night I went over to Crate & Barrel in order to do last minute shopping for a wedding today.  I went over to the new store at Mayfair Mall and was in the store for exactly one minute when a very nice woman came over and said "May I help you?"  I do believe that is the fastest that has ever happened to me in a store.  I'm guessing that they have some sort of camera at the door that sets off a special silent alarm when they see a man walk in unaccompanied by a woman.  This was a separate part of the Supreme Court ruling that created the Miranda Warning.  "If you don't have a girlfriend, a woman will be provided to you at the store's expense."

Don't believe me?  Walk into a Crate & Barrel sometime.  You will never see a man walking around by himself.  You only ever see women by themselves, or a woman walking around with a guy right behind her, looking defeated, and nodding at everything she points to.  Even when that woman works at the store, the man naturally follows after her.  It's the damnedest thing you've ever seen.

Look... I'm not in favor of banning gay marriage... and I'm certainly not a big fan of Brad Pitt... especially after he broke my poor Jennifer's heart (sorry I missed you in California honey... call me!)... but this is just ridiculous:

Brad Pitt, ever the social activist, says he won't be marrying Angelina Jolie until the restrictions on who can marry whom are dropped.

"Angie and I will consider tying the knot when everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able," the 42-year-old actor reveals in Esquire magazine's October issue, on newsstands Sept. 19.

When asked if that also meant he would take marriage more seriously than the rest of Hollywood if they did eventually marry, and take their vows of 'til death do us part' to heart, Brad reportedly responded:

On second thought, maybe pretending like I care about marriage wasn't such a good idea after all.

When actors stop treating marriage as a promotional gimmick, and a wedding ring as just another kind of bling to toss around, then I might consider listening to what they have to say on the subject.

Paris Hilton's scuffed king-size bed is being hawked - complete with a quite-used mattress - in an online auction, along with dozens of other items from Hilton's house. The opening bid is $1,500.

Hilton’s old pillows, couches, and lamps are also up for grabs, and auctioneer StyleSearch.com assures us that 10 percent of each sale goes to charity.

Shipping, handling, and disinfection are of course extra.  I'm not sure I'd sleep in that bed even after a good steam cleaning, which leaves me to wonder what you could use the bed for.  Maybe you could use the stains as part of a Rorschach Test?

Can some woman kindly explain this latest fashion trend for me please?  I've been seeing women carrying these to work more often in the last few weeks, and I just don't get it.  You know who I'm talking about... the women who carry their stuff into work in a plastic Sendiks grocery bag as if it were a purse.

Granted it's a high quality plastic.  It's that durable thicker plastic, as opposed to the paper thin plastic you might get from Sentry.  Do you think that it somehow elevates you a notch in the snobbery hierarchy by letting your coworkers that you once went to a Sendiks?  Do you think that if we see you with one of those bags, that we'll naturally assume that you shop there so often, that your house is just brimming with old Sendiks bags, and you had to just find some use for them?

Is the finely tanned hide of a dead cow no longer as much of a status symbol as a grocery bag?

* This is part of a new category at The World According to Nick called Style Guy *