Looking For Something to Do on a Lazy Sunday?
In case you didn't know, the Rapture is scheduled for tomorrow. So if you've been a good little boy or girl, then you won't have to worry about any more problems, since you'll be lifted off to heaven... or not.
Pretty quickly I became riveted by the religious call-in talk show. I learned that Judgment Day was apparently slated to arrive on May 21, 2011 and that it would begin with swarms of earthquakes all over the world. The host said that we have been beyond the "church age" since 1988 and that in fact, "the churches today are ruled over by Satan" and that we are "right at the time of the end" with "salvation... only going on outside of the churches." After doing some quick research on my mobile phone I started to realize that I’d seen some billboards about Judgment Day, but had no idea that 1) it was so soon and 2) it was largely being hyped by a massive radio network.
As you might expect, Thursday's final Bible study largely dealt with Judgment Day. Camping said that it would come on Saturday, May 21 at 6pm local time, meaning that wherever you live, it will happen at 6pm. He promised that, "We're going to be able to see... those who are being raptured" and said that "when you are raptured" you get "eternal life." He added, "it's just a fantastic, wonderful gift that we paid nothing for." But then his Bible study veered into fire and brimstone territory as he said, "When the believers are being raptured" it will be a "final condemnation of those left behind."
Apparently May 21 will signal the beginning of hell on earth for non-believers, as the world won't actually end until October 21. Camping argued that the people left behind will feel something akin to a "sting of a scorpion" that will be a "final blow" as they realize that others have been raptured and they have not.
Personally, I don't understand how a person who is that dedicated to the Christian gospel to even feel comfortable making such predictions. Doesn't that amount to blasphemy? Who are you to say when God will come? Either way, I obviously don't believe the Rapture is coming tomorrow. But I do think it would be really fun to call into this guy's radio show on Sunday. I imagine the conversation going something like this:
Camping: Next caller.
Me: I don't understand why, but I didn't get Raptured.
Camping: Yes, we're all very disapointed. I must have miscalculated the date.
Me: No... the Rapture did happen. I saw two of my neighbors taken away! I just don't understand why I wasn't. And neither were you! I was surprised that I wasn't taken, but then I found out you weren't either! What did you do to upset God?!
I often times wonder what it feels like for someone like that who fully believes it's going to happen. When it doesn't, what thought crosses your mind first? That they were wrong about the Rapture, or that it did happen and they weren't taken?
The Health Care Nazi
Different Approaches to Public Funding
When we decide that public funds need to be used to finance the education of children, we force parents to send their children to government run schools if they want to use that money.
When we decide that public funds need to be used to finance the feeding of the poor, we allow them to go to a private grocery store to spend that money.
For those who believe the first is preferable, why don't you advocate for the creation of government run grocery stores?
Even Santa Wants a Bailout
Enjoy Your Snowy Commute
Laugh Out Loud Quote of the Day
From the always amusing Megan McArdle:
People tend to be overconfident about their own abilities and the outcome of their plans. Something like 90% of people think that they are above average drivers less likely to get into an accident than the average joe. This is so pervasive that there is actually a scientific name for the few people who accurately assess their own future, their abilities, and what other people think of them: clinically depressed.
The "Supportive" Sensenbrenner
I was reading this article on Reason about the demise of Real ID, when I came across this interesting paragraph:
Wood and Molepske drafted legislation that took Wisconsin out of Real ID. Sensenbrenner, fuming, said he would travel district to district and campaign against any Republican who opposed the federal law. "I said ‘go ahead,'" says Wood. "I offered to pay for his gas." Wood and Molepske aren't feeling much heat before their September primaries; by the time Sensenbrenner made his threat, no one could mistake which way the wind was blowing.
This would be the same Jim Sensenbrenner that during his one and only debate with Jim Burkee, talked extensively about how he supported other Reupblicans, and never bad mouthed them, because they're better than Democrats. Apparently that is unless you oppose a law which was passed with limited debate as a rider to another unrelated bill, which grossly expands federal power at enormous costs to states, invades our privacy, and will do nothing to stop terrorism. In other words... cross Jim Sensenbrenner.
Because We Also Need a Laugh
I was catching up with my sister Sarah last night, and she chastized me for being so serious on my blog lately saying "Why do I always have to learn stuff when I read your blog? Can't you be funny too?" Sorry sister dear. This one is for you, via ROFLRazzi.com:
They were handing these out at Starbucks last week. When I first saw them, I thought it was "Good Carbon Emissions"... like there is "Good Cholesterol" and "Bad Cholesterol".
Arrggghhhh... Avast Me Bloggers
Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day. Now I just have to figure out how to use the bathroom with this hook on my hand without hurting myself.
Confusing Product Names
I was at Trader Joe's not all that long ago, and happened to see some bread there called Ezekiel 4:9. I thought that was a strange name for bread... because the first thing that came to mind was from Pulp Fiction:
Now why would I want to buy bread that would lay down vengeance on my colon after the tyranny of kung pao chicken? Or is the bread the righteous man, who will shepherd my bowels through a good movement? It was all very confusing to me, until I went to their web site and saw this explanation:
Inspired by the Holy Scripture verse Ezekiel 4:9., "Take also unto thee Wheat, and Barley, and beans, and lentils, and millet, and Spelt, and put them in one vessel, and make bread of it..."
Oh... wrong verse. Well then... that's much more harmonious on my digestive system.
Do you ever get the impression when reading some blogs go back and forth on certain topics, that the authors both think... "If I just say this same thing one more time, that will convince them!"? I wonder how often I do that without even realizing it.
This cartoon reminded me of this bit by Jim Gaffigan. Personally I think Peter and George Carlin are laughing it up right now:
... Hillary Clinton had an absolute lock on the Democratic nomination? Yeah, me too. So much for predictions.
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