Nobody move!  Give me all your money, or I'll give you an orgasm!

A robber who held up a bookmaker's shop in Leicester with his girlfriend's vibrator has been jailed.

Nicki Jex, 27, of Braunstone, Leicester, hid the sex toy in a carrier bag pretending it was a gun, Leicester Crown Court heard.

The manager at Ladbrokes in Narborough Road handed over more than £600 in cash when he pointed it at her on 27 December 2006, the court heard.

On Monday, Jex, who pleaded guilty to robbery, was jailed for five years.

Sentencing him, Judge Philip Head said: "It's right to record that you did not have a firearm but you pretended you had and intended that those you confronted believed that you did, and it must have been truly terrifying for them at the time."

South Carolina and Alabama have already made the sale of sex toys illegal... I'm sure for just this reason.  Great Britain will no doubt be soon to follow.  Via Patrick McIlheran.

Update:  In other British phallic weapon news... a 12 year old boy is being charged with assault for throwing a cocktail sausage at a man:

A 12-year-old boy was charged with assault and taken before the courts - for throwing a cocktail sausage.

The boy was accused of throwing the pork snack at a 74-year-old man in Woodhouse Park, south Manchester.
...
She told the BBC: "They came to arrest him in my house, they took him into a police van. They took him to Elizabeth Slinger [police station], put him in a cell, took his photographs, his fingerprints, then interviewed him.

"And then they decided to charge him with common assault - with a sausage."

This is no laughing matter folks.  He could have poked an eye out with that thing!