Head on over and read Wiggy's latest column at the Waukesha Freeman:

Not that it would matter what food I would buy. Packing a school lunch for Will is less of an exercise of making sure he has a decent meal than figuring out what a relatively unsupervised kindergarten child will eat that will also sneak past the food police.

I've given up trying to understand the cosmology of a school-approved diet. Breakfast cereal, no matter how much sugarcoating, as a snack is OK. Breakfast cereal with marshmallows is not acceptable because the "marshmallows are sugar." Fruit snacks that "look like candy" are not acceptable, but Cocoa Puff breakfast bars are just fine.

A candy bar reward sneaked in with the lunch will magically return home uneaten while the child mutters something about "junk food." But if the kid orders hot lunch, cake and cookies are served as dessert.

I read more and more of this stuff all the time, and it's really starting to... well... wig me out.  And I don't even have kids!  I feel like whenever I do find that special woman in my life, I'm going to have to ask, "What about home schooling? You know, it's not just for scary religious people anymore."