This one goes out to all the balding people who read my blog:

I was also concerned that they might go all Sherlock Holmes on me and ask why a guy with virtually no hair needs shampoo. I would probably say something like "Have you heard of phantom limb?" And then I'd have a metal detector so far up my ass that my fillings would set it off.

If you're not already reading Scott Adams' Blog, then you ought to be.