Following this victory for the rights of little people in the UW School System:

(Madison)-The University of Wisconsin System today announced a new "diversity" plan that would allow admissions officers to take into account an applicant’s height when making an entrance determination.

"For too long, tall people have had access to higher education in this state," said Larry Rubin, the system's assistant vice president for completely ridiculous bullsh**. "We want a campus ethnically representative of America," said Rubin, before noting that he would have to kick 3,000 Asians off campus to make that happen. "The best way to eradicate prejudice is to practice it, just against the right kind of people," said Rubin.

The National Association of Little Persons said there was still much work to be done to ensure that little people across the nation are given every opportunity that people of advantaged height have.  Most troubling was this latest story from Nebraska:

SIDNEY, Neb. - A judge said a 5-foot-1 man convicted of sexually assaulting a child was too small to survive in prison, and gave him 10 years of probation instead.

His crimes deserved a long sentence, District Judge Kristine Cecava said, but she worried that Richard W. Thompson, 50, would be especially imperiled by prison dangers.

"You are a sex offender, and you did it to a child," she said.

But, she said, "That doesn't make you a hunter. You do not fit in that category."

A spokesman for NALP said that this decision was insulting on its very face.  He was quoted as saying "Little people can make it in prison just like anyone else.  I dare you to tell me that I can't anally rape someone just like any other prisoner!"

Editor's Note:  While the first story is fake, the second is actually quite real.  Scary how life imitates parody isn't it?