I want to see video of Tom DeLay saying this to see if he actually had a straight face:

House Majority Leader Tom DeLay said yesterday that Republicans have done so well in cutting spending that he declared an "ongoing victory," and said there is simply no fat left to cut in the federal budget.

Mr. DeLay was defending Republicans' choice to borrow money and add to this year's expected $331 billion deficit to pay for Hurricane Katrina relief. Some Republicans have said Congress should make cuts in other areas, but Mr. DeLay said that doesn't seem possible.

"My answer to those that want to offset the spending is sure, bring me the offsets, I'll be glad to do it. But nobody has been able to come up with any yet," the Texas Republican told reporters at his weekly briefing.

Hey Tom, I'll make a deal with you. You give me a copy of the budget to review, and if I find any pork that can be cut, I'll I ask is a 1% finders fee. Couldn't hurt could it, since you're so sure that there is nothing in there.

Asked if that meant the government was running at peak efficiency, Mr. DeLay said, "Yes, after 11 years of Republican majority we've pared it down pretty good."

Hold on a second... am I reading this article in The Washington Times, or The Onion? This whole idea is almost beyond parody.