When I saw this... I literally jumped out of my seat. A woman in London has been put in prison for ripping off her lover's testicles:

A woman has been sentenced to two and a half years in jail for ripping off her ex-lover's testicle with her bare hands during a drunken brawl after he refused her sex.

Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage in May last year after Geoffrey Jones, 37, who had ended their long-term relationship, rejected her advances.

She grabbed him by the genitals, tearing off his left testicle, then hid it in her mouth before a friend of Jones handed it back to him saying "that's yours".

Monti, of Birkenhead, near Liverpool, pleaded guilty to unlawful wounding at an earlier hearing.

A couple comments on this. First of all... he rejected her advances? What's the matter with you? Second... two and half years for "unlawful wounding"? Are you kidding me? That seems kinda light to me... but then again... I value my privates. Finally... hid it in her mouth? That's not the good kind of ball sucking honey.

As if that's not bad enough... apparently Alaska has its share of insane women as well:

Anchorage police said a woman upset about an impending break-up with her boyfriend cut off the man's penis and flushed it down a toilet.

Utility workers recovered the severed member Sunday morning and surgeons reattached it.

Thirty-five-year-old Kim Tran was charged with first-degree assault, domestic violence and tampering with evidence.
...
Shell said investigators determined that the two had argued over a pending break-up.

At some point, the pair decided to have sexual relations and the man agreed to have his arms tied to a window handle above their bed.

Shell said the woman pulled out a kitchen knife, severed the man's penis and flushed it down the toilet.

And that my friends is reason number one why I've never let a woman tie me up. What kind of moron would let a woman tie him up after an argument over breaking up anyway?! And kudos to the utility workers for finding the penis in the sewer. Though if I were that guy, I wouldn't tell his next girlfriend where it's been. Thanks to Boots & Sabers for the links.

On a much happier note, I got a call on Friday from my doctor letting me know that the ultrasound looked completely normal. If you're unfamiliar with that particular saga, you can read about it here and here.